But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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