I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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