Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
