I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
