never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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