she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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