I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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