that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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