So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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