There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
