Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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