"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
