Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You can't motorboat a personality
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
