It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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