I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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