Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
People in love make me want to vomit
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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