if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
