too bad you live with your parents still
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
