I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
