Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
