I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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