i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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