I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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