conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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