She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
