so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
