he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
