I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
