I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it glows. i had to have it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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