If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
