No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
