you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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