chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize