i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
