Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
