Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
