Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
