At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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