Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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