you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
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I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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