How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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