The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize