Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
