hotel room ftw
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
