He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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