Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
