i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
