Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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