I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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