just come out here and I will go home with you...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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