On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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