He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
