This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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