Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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