Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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