y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
