I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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