I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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