vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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