all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
