i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
