Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
how drunk are you?
Several
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
