how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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