whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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