Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
